September 14: 282.4

September 14- what a date. A lot of emotions come flooding to the top; mainly in the form of sadness. Eight years ago today, my brother was killed in a car accident. It's hard to believe it's been 8 years. Even still, it's harder to believe that he's actually gone. They say time heals all things... I don't agree. I think the pain remains.... time just teaches you how to deal with it.

While September 14 will always be more to me than "just another day", I want this day to not only be remembered for the bad, but also for the good. My brother would have wanted it that way. So, that brings me here...... I've decided to get serious and real about my weight. I've decided to stop pretending like it's not an issue, because it is. I really don't know how I let this happen..... or wait, maybe I do. I ate far too much and moved far too little. It's pretty simple, really. I guess what I don't know is why I've been okay with it until now. All I know is that I'm tired of being defined by my weight. I'm tired of only wanting to shop for shoes and purses- because all big girls know that shoes and purses are a plus size girl's best friend. I'm tired of having to say "maybe next time" when my friends want to go to the pool. I'm annoyed that I can't go horseback riding with my husband in a few weeks because the weight limit is 250. I'm tired of hearing "you have such a pretty face". I want to do this. I need to do this. I HAVE to do this. My health is at stake and it's time that I finally do something about it.

I'm new to this whole world of blogging.... maybe some day some one will read something that I write and feel inspired. Or maybe we'll connect. Or maybe they'll totally disagree and open my eyes to seeing things from a new perspective. In any case, I'm hoping that keeping up with this blog will be a good way for me to just put it out there.... a way to keep myself accountable, if you will. I will take some photos of myself and post them later.... This is my blog. It's a place to be real. To share the good, the bad, and the ugly (and oh, will there be times when it's ugly!)

So here I go...... my journey is just beginning. I'm inviting whoever may be reading this to join along with me....It's going to be one heck of a roller-coaster ride, any takers!?